On "A Personal Matter" by Kenzaburo Oe

"A Personal Matter" by Kenzaburo Oe is one of my favorite books of all time. (Thank you Dr. Roddy and that awesome Japanese Literature in Translation class). To (over) simplify, it is about a man named Bird who has dreams about adventures in Africa, which are halted by the birth of his deformed son. He must decide if he wants to escape to Africa or stay and take responsibility for his son. I was rereading something I wrote during my university years, and it was very obvious through my paper how strongly I was struggling wtih my cultural identity at the time. DEFINITELY NOT my best paper, but shockingly representative of my feelings. I was brought back to the pain of loneliness and displacement I felt upon reviewing what I had written.

SPOILER ALERT DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT READING THIS BOOK!

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Other than for the fact that Bird decides to return to his family, are there other logical reasons why Bird ends his relationship with Himiko? Could you say that he has "outgrown" her, and if so, does this imply that Himiko's desire for adventure, whether as a journey to Africa or in the bedroom, is immature or otherwise limited compared to Bird's own self-awareness?

In A Personal Matter by Kenzaburo Oe, Bird struggles with his duty to his family and his duty to himself. As a young man, Bird had dreamt of adventures in Africa. When Bird marries, he sees himself trapped in a cage; that is perhaps not yet locked. When his wife becomes pregnant; however, and he knows he will have to becomea responsible father, he feels it is the final lock-up on his dreams to travel Africa.

When any person, man or woman, is young, they are usually idealistic and full of big plans and dreams. As people grow older, however, the harsh realities of the world jade many people. For example, Bird had been interested in politics in his university years, yet when Himiko hears the announcement on the radio about nuclear testing and she becomes very excited, Bird maintains is stoic mood. Having witnessed the tragedies to Japan pre and post World War II, Bird's faith in the world must have shattered. To Bird, who feels trapped in his duties to his family, the only way he thinks he can be happy is to rediscover the passion he had in his youth. He believes that a journey to Africa, and a sexual exploration and deviancy in the bedroom is the best way to regain control over his life, and find the passion he lost years ago.

However, when the opportunity arises to finally go to Africa, Bird instead decides to return to his family, leaving Himiko behind. Himiko goes to Africa anyway, with a boy whose in love with and obsessed with her (though Himiko does not reciprocate the feelings). Bird's responsibility shows a maturity never seen before in the book, but his actions do not mean that Himiko is immature.

Himiko has lead a somewhat solitary life. Although she seems to have many lovers, she spends all day sleeping, and at night she may go out for a lone joy ride. Although she has shut herself off from the world like Bird (but in a different way), she still believes in a fantasy world that she can escape to. Bird no longer believes that life can exist for him. He was a recluse before he met Himiko and he left Himiko because he was unable to rekindle the same passion he had for Africa. It's true that Himiko and Africa did ignite some of the old flames that Bird had but he had already become so stoic and cynical he couldn't completely return to the nature of his youth. I think he goes back to his family partially because of his guilt and partially because he knows that even if he went to Africa it wouldn't have felt the same as if he had gone in his youth.

It is not immature of Himiko to want to go to Africa. Himiko's life is completely different than that of Bird's, especially being half Russian (half Japanese), and it is hard to hold the two to the same standards. Being a foreigner in Japan is a very different kind of life, especially since there is not a lot of diversity in Japan. When a person is of mixed race, or born of a minority race to a relatively homogenized society, a person may sometimes feel that they don't have a world to belong to. Bird is really attracted to Himiko because he feels like he has no place in the world to belong to, and he sees that in Himiko as well. He eventually leaves her, however, when he realizes that he does have a place he belongs to, he has just been rejecting it.

One of life’s biggest qualms for most humans is, “Where do I fit into the world?” Bird and Himiko struggle to find that answer throughout the novel. They fit in with each other because they both feel that they don’t belong anywhere and they find a common place to which they could potentially belong: Africa. The difference between Bird and Himiko is that Bird does have a place he could belong, even if he doesn’t like it. He is a fully native Japanese man, he had a pretty respectable job as a teacher, and he had a family. He tried to run away from these things because he wanted to rediscover the passion of his youth, but he realized that even if he escaped to Africa he would still belong to the memory of his family. Even though he was initially ashamed of his son, he knew he would never be able to escape the memory if he let his son be murdered. Perhaps he has not “outgrown” Himiko, but he has finally accepted a place to where he can belong.

Himiko, on the other hand, has nothing to belong to. She is never fully able to integrate into Japanese society because her exotic looks are conspicuous to the homogenized Japanese culture. Her husband may have been the only thing that she ever belonged to, yet he committed suicide. The one person Himiko had in her life that could have perhaps made her feel like she belonged to something, abandoned her. Therefore it is not immature of Himiko to want to escape to Africa and want to feel and belong to a part of something, even if its with someone she doesn’t love. Even if she belongs to an adventure in a strange country at least she’ll feel like she is part of something. Himiko should not lose hope that she can have a place to fit into the world, even if in an unusual way.

Bird had dreams of traveling to Africa, and even though he didn’t realize them, he still made a stride at the end of the book by finding the solution to one of life’s most difficult hurdles. Perhaps it is not what he dreamed of when he was young, but life is often not what we plan or hope it will be. At least, for now, he can try to fit into his family and try to accept their love, and support, as he struggles to accept that he belongs with his family. We can only hope that Himiko’s journey to Africa helps her find a place where for at least one moment find solace, and feel like she has a place and purpose in this world.